Sometimes when we correct someone they find it offensive, why? It could be because of the way we correct them, a few people may not like being told they are wrong, but when done correctly and politely they might not take offense to it.
When you’re told you’re wrong, it may not be the best feeling, but it makes you more knowledgeable.
Why do we feel embarrassed when corrected?
Culture plays a role in determining our response, as in some, respect is everything and being corrected may feel humiliating. How we feel about being corrected will depend on factors more than just us. For example, the setting, how many people are around and especially how we are corrected.
The famous Stanford Prison Experiment is an example of humiliation taken too far.
There are a few ways to avoid upsetting someone, it’s good to be blunt sometimes but not always.
Avoid being or sounding authoritative
It’s easy to boss someone and tell them their shortcomings, but that is not the best way to make someone better at their work. When you sound authoritative, it seems like you are in a higher position than another. This may not sit well when you’re trying to offer help/correct someone. This may even happen unintentionally, so we should note our tone and the words we choose.
Ask questions
Instead of making a statement and saying “I think this is wrong” try “could we cross check this again?” Even though it is not much, it is more likely to make you look friendlier and less bossy, the way we put things makes a big difference. Asking a question when appropriate will make a difference to the other person, as it does not seem like they are being bossed around and will most likely accept the help.
Start with a positives statement
We feel nice when we get a compliment for the hard work we put in, but when the opposite happens we will feel horrible. To avoid hurting someone by directly pointing out the flaws in the assignment, you can start off by pointing out the good things in it so the person feels validated and will gladly accept your suggestions.
Offer feedback but don’t entrust it on them
When you offer help, it is their choice to accept or reject your help; they are not obligated to take it. It can be upsetting to see you have helped someone and they reject it, but that is a choice they make and it should not be taken personally. You cannot force help or your opinion on someone when they don’t want to take it, you did your part, and that is the best you can do.
Don’t assume they have or don’t have knowledge of something
Instead of assuming, it is better to ask if they are aware of it, this way they will not get embarrassed or upset, and you can explain it. This is important as when you offer to help you need to make sure the person is following you, that is the point of helping them out without making the situation uncomfortable.
These are a few ways you can be friendlier when giving advice to someone. It is better to give advice in a way they are likely to accept it.
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