I am waiting for a degree
That I was meant to get at 21,
A year of drop
So many emotions flow through me
As I see an ‘F’ on my mark sheet
I cry myself to sleep.
I was told I am a failure
I proved it by not getting the degree at the age it was supposed to be.
Coming from a background where you should know what your next step is supposed to be
I found myself lost in thought
Where am I meant to be?
As the days pass I see so much potential in my being,
But I fail to understand where to find the ladder,
Is it hidden from me?
A world governed by your degree is slowly killing me,
The fear of settling for a job I hate
Is scarier than the drop I faced.
We are expected to understand the things we love at the age of 20 and know what we want to do for the rest of our life
When we can’t even figure out who are we.
I feel guilty and sick because I am so unsure of what the future will bring out of me,
The last months have taught me that life is not a storybook where the outcome can be predicted
To choose a future based on society is a path I cant choose,
I want to change and be a better version of me,
But I also have to face reality.
Which might just kill the passion bubbling as I step outside my comfort zone only to realize that I caved in to pressure just to have a settled life,
Where soon, I'll be living a dead life.
-Samantha
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