WHY WE HATE

We say hate is a strong word but it simply is an intense feeling of dislike. When you hate someone or something you resent its very sight.

There are several reasons why we hate the things and people around us. This article will be in two parts, this one will talk about why we hate certain things or people and in the next part, we’ll learn how to deal with it.

Jealousy

Often when we hate someone the root cause can be jealousy. It can be a personal quirk or something materialistic that the other person has. This is normal, as jealousy stems from insecurity. Due to jealousy, we can react negatively toward others.

In evolutionary psychology, jealousy is an inborn response. It increased the chances of survival back in the day. To read more on this click here.

Low self-esteem

This may seem like a weird one but trust me everyone has insecurities. Sometimes graver insecurity can lead to low self-esteem. When someone is filled with hate they are bound to lash out negatively. This is a defence mechanism, a way of protecting themselves from their own self-loathing. Feeling superior by drawing attention to other people's flaws is a way of redirecting it away from theirs.

Projection

Generally, people know the things they hate in themselves and try to hide it. When we see those quirks in another person we instantly dislike them and this often happens subconsciously. Drawing attention away from our flaw and on to someone else is a safety barrier we create.

Hating things about someone else can be a subconscious fear of the things they dislike within themselves. The word projection was termed by Freud; it is a tendency to reject what we don’t like about ourselves. This again is a form of defence mechanism.

In-group and Out-group theory

A behaviour researcher Patrick Wanis explains how hatred is driven by ‘love’ and ‘aggression’. “Love for the in-group which is favoured and aggression for out-group which is a threat for the in-group.”

When we sense a threat we turn to those whom we identify with­­­ that is our in-group. It’s a survival mechanism, as human we need the company of others because we are social beings.

To simplify it with an example, when it comes to personal topics like religion, nationality and so on we tend to choose our religion or nationality (in-group). We may make fun of it but we will also get defensive when another (out-group) insults it.

Fill the void

Hatred is a feeling that distracts us from the anxiety-provoking emptiness one may feel on the inside. When it involves participation from a group it can give the person a sense of connection, they feel like they have formed a bond on that hate.

Bullies are a good example, sometimes they look and act tough but may be ready to crumble when confronted.

Social and cultural

Today in society violence is constantly promoted through video games, movies, cartoon shows, they all have some form of violence in it. Not only this but from a very young age, we notice the completion and try to be a step ahead of our peers.

Negativity will only get to us if we let it. Words will get to us if we let it. In short, don’t let negativity affect you. Use that negative energy and turn it to a positive.