As a child, how often were you taught to put yourself before others? My guess is not that often. One reason is, some children are more self-centered and impulsive than others. This is the typical developmental trait children have. As we grow older, we are taught to put others before ourselves, but they do not teach us to what extent!
With society telling us to put others before ourselves and ‘be selfless’ it becomes difficult to put ourselves first. Eventually, we may be followed by a pang of guilt that we do not understand when we put ourselves first. We may think we are selfish when it is just self-care.
Why do you need to care for yourself first?
Let’s look at this through an example.
You show others how to treat you!
Constantly putting others before you will show it’s alright for others to do so too. When you put yourself last, you show others you are okay with being treated that way.
You may become someone who only gives and gets nothing in return, not even the respect and consideration you deserve.
Some of us have this need to ‘fix’ what is broken.
Over the years I have learned I don’t need to fix things for people, instead just showing them I have their back means a great deal. It’s hard to find people that will stand by you today, so when someone supports you it means a lot.
You can be there for them by encouraging them and pushing them to do better only when you are in the right frame of mind.
Your problems matter too!
We may often sidetrack our own pain, we push ourselves to be strong a little too much. So much so we end up more hurt and alone.
We need to acknowledge our pain and struggle. Yes, these may be first-world problems, but these small things make up our world and when something upsets us, we should not feel guilty about it.
It’s good to acknowledge that there are bigger problems out there, and what we are facing is a part of our problem.
When you’re not in the frame of mind to help someone and they come to you for help, it's okay to put yourself first. Do justice to yourself and put your needs and mental health before someone else, this is not selfish.
It’s difficult to see someone you love in pain and our instinct is to help, this is good and it’s okay to an extent. But always putting others before you is not healthy for you.
Look out for yourself like you do with others, it will make a world of difference to your mental health. It is important to be there for others, but you are important as well and need the time off. Give yourself a break from all that is happening around you and focus on yourself, you deserve it!
Hope you liked this article, make sure to comment and let me know what you think!
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